Newsletter Contents
Publisher's Pen: Raising Economically Successful Children
“Books are masters who instruct us without rods or ferules, without words or anger, without bread or money. If you approach them, they are not asleep; if you seek them, they do not hide; if you blunder, they do not scold; if you are ignorant, they do not laugh at you.”
Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
Recently, I read a book by bestselling author, Thomas Stanley, PhD, called The Millionaire Mind, which struck some poignant similarities between economically productive adults and the type of parenting they received as children.
Thomas Stanley has been studying economically productive adults of the millionaire category for twenty years. His findings have been published in several books, including, The Millionaire Next Door, and Millionaire Women Next Door. He became curious and fascinated about this category of citizens as a young child when he tested one of his own misconceptions on a Halloween night. Later on, as an adult, more misconceptions exploded apart after he surveyed, held focus groups, and interviewed many of the self-made, first generation millionaires in our country today.
The results of his study show that a high IQ or GPA is not always an indicator of economic success later in life; but rather, our habits, tenacity to succeed, and good interpersonal skills are the strongest indicators of success. In addition, working hard at a vocation that one loves, and choosing a supportive spouse help to create a well-rounded, successful individual.
In studying female self-made millionaires, he designated two groups from his findings; the Alpha and the Beta women. The Alpha women came from nurturing home environments, while the Beta women came from less than nurturing homes. A full 78% of the successful millionaire women came from Alpha homes, while the remaining 22% came from Beta homes. The “Beta” women had to overcome tremendous obstacles to achieve their success.
His findings make sense when I look at one of the discoveries made by educators who help students who are struggling. Recently, educators discovered that telling students what they are doing wrong doesn’t help them. In fact, it has the opposite effect, and that fact has certainly been validated by Dr. Stanley in his study of adults.
May we, as parents and educators, strive to create a secure and nurturing environment for our children; that they may not have obstacles to overcome as they prepare to live as productive adults.
Smiles,
Elaine
Empowering Parents and Teachers:
See how the top five parenting habits that created a nurturing home environment for children who later became successful adults correlate with character and citizenship education in our schools.
The Top Five Parenting Habits of Nurturing Homes:
(taken in part, from, Millionaire Women Next Door, Dr. Thomas Stanley, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Kansas City, MO, 2004, pg. 64, table 4-1).
Parenting Habit Correlates To:_______
Parenting Habit Number One: Harmony/Empathy
Taught empathy for those less fortunate. Caring, Respect
Provided atmosphere filled with love/harmony.
Had respect for each other & children.
Ran a well organized household.
Regularly attended religious services.
Parenting Habit Number Two: Initiative/Leadership
Taught empathy for the needs of others. Leadership, Citizenship
Taught not to follow the crowd.
Encouraged to take the initiative.
Encouraged to be a creative thinker.
Encouraged to take leadership roles in school.
Parenting Habit Number Three: Happiness/Satisfaction
Had strong love of life. Responsibility for Self
Rarely complained.
Parenting Habit Number Four: Independence
Gave responsibility early in life Trustworthiness, Honesty
Encouraged to earn own spending money.
Taught the importance of saving/investing.
Parenting Habit Number Five: Responsiveness
No harsh punishment for a bad grade. Fairness
Were rarely cold and indifferent.
Took time to listen to my opinions.
Used positive incentives to encourage achievement.
Empowering K.I.D.S. (Kids In Daily Situations):
Practice being a mentor to yourself and your friends by celebrating in each other’s successes.
Think about a way that you could respond that would encourage, not discourage:
-
You (or your friends) don’t understand the new math:
Instead of…”I’ll never get this…”
Say… “I can do better.”
-
You didn’t receive the grade you wanted; it was much lower than expected
Instead of….”I’ll never be anything…”
Say…”I just have to work through this; I had problems before, I can do it.”
-
You still don’t understand it, and what’s more, it looks like you might fail:
Instead of…”If I fail this subject (grade), I’m just a loser...
Say…”If I can’t work through this myself, I will have to find a tutor to help.”
-
You didn’t get a high score on the standardized test
Instead of…”I won’t get into a good college…”
Say…”Tests don’t tell the true value about me. I am good at many things.”
-
You think that the kids who are really smart will be lucky in finding good jobs.
Instead of…”They are lucky because they are smart…”
Say…”I know that if I work hard, I will achieve success.”
Copyright© 2007 Empowering Kids! All rights reserved.
Articles may be reproduced and freely distributed as long as this footnote is included.
Subscribe at www.empoweringkids.com
